The Shrub Anomaly
by Empty Thoughts
Summary: Like all children, Travis and Connor learned things the hard way. Pre The Lightning Thief.


"-_names are powerful things. You don't just go around using them for no reason_."

-Mr. D, The Lightning Thief

* * *

"_Like… the Minotaur and the Hydra?"_

"_Yeah, just try not to say those names when I'm around, okay?"_

"_And the Furies," she said, warming up. "And the sirens and-"_

"_Okay!" I looked around the band hall, sure that Rachel was going to make a bunch of bloodthirsty nasties pop up; but we were still alone.'_

-Percy Jackson and Rachel Dare, The Battle of the Labyrinth

* * *

**JULY 2004**

Chiron knew when things were quiet at camp, it was never a good thing.

It was a casual Wednesday afternoon, the weather was pleasant- as always. There was a faint breeze coming from the lake, and a quick look confirmed that the older children were basking in the sun's glorious rays. Most of the Hermes cabin was canoeing, though some were in the water trying to swim back to shore after they were forcibly removed from their canoe, in a fashion that reminded him of good ol' piracy. The centaur briefly considered putting a stop to it, but when he noticed that the younger residence of the Hermes cabin somehow gaining the upper hand, he chuckled and decided to leave them be.

He couldn't say he was surprised to see young Annabeth Chase sitting on shore, reading a book as her companion, Luke Castellan, took over another canoe. Annabeth spent a good share of her spare time around Luke, which Chiron contributed to the not-so-secret crush that she developed the year before.

A moment later, Chiron noticed that one of his pupils seemed to be missing. But when he realized which pupil was missing, he came to the conclusion he must have counted someone twice. Because wherever Travis Stoll was, his younger and slightly shorter brother, Connor, was somewhere near by. Unless the prank they were pulling required them to be separate, of course.

He should have know that the two were somewhere causing mischief, but before he really had the chance to consider what the pair could possibly be up to, Camp Half-Blood's resident god came thumping down the stairs.

Dionysus was a grumpy man by nature, but this morning he seemed especially so. His hair was never tidy, something Chiron would never dare say aloud, and his leopard shirt was as atrocious as always. On his face was a scowl that would have sent the satyrs running, if they happened to be on the deck at the time.

The god of wine was muttering under his breath. He barely spared Chiron a glance before he left the Big House, marching towards the cabins. It was odd, because Dionysus rarely left the Big House unless he had to, like for meal times.

You'd think, that Chiron after having been around for thousands of years and literally having seen almost anything, would have been able to put the piece together by that point. But the centaur merely shrugged at the god's odd behaviour and went back to his lemonade.

When Dionysus returned twenty minutes with two potted, tiny shrubs in his hands, Chiron grew suspicious.

* * *

That night, right before the campers were due for dinner, Chiron saw a head peek into his office. He quickly identified it as Luke's, leader of the Hermes cabin.

"Hey, quick question, have you seen Travis and Connor, by any chance?"

Chiron thought back to earlier in the day, when the two were missing from the canoeing lake. "When was the last time you saw them?"

Luke frowned as he thought back, subconsciously leaning onto the doorway. "The last time I can think of was just after lunch. They were planning something, I didn't bother asking what."

"Have you checked the camp store?" Chiron asked. It wasn't uncommon for members of the Hermes Cabin to break in. "Perhaps they locked themselves in somehow."

"I checked there, and I asked around the other cabins. I'm fairly sure the Ares cabin isn't holding them hostage again."

Last time the twosome broke into the Ares cabin, a few members came back from their activities early to find the scrawny, unarmed pair rummaging through their belongings. It was almost pathetic how quickly they surrendered, but if what the Ares cabin said was true, they didn't even bother putting up a fight. Which was probably smart, because they didn't stand a chance.

"Well, at least I won't have to hold negotiations this time," Chiron said, a bit relieved. It had been a tense hour before the Ares cabin finally agreed to the terms the Hermes cabin gave. He'd thought Travis and Connor had learned their lesson, but the next week he'd seen them sneaking back out. But Hermes children did what they did best, and it was foolish to think they'd give it up.

"You don't think they've run off into the forest?" Luke said, suddenly worried. To put it nicely, Travis and Connor were better at thievery than swordplay. They had improved since they first arrived, but if they did manage to get lost in the the forest, Chiron worried there wouldn't be much left of them to find.

"Hopefully not. Let us hope they turn up for dinner. If not, we'll organize a search."

* * *

During dinner Luke spent his time alternatively glancing at the head table and shoving food into his mouth. Every few minutes he'd look down his own table, then he'd stretch his neck around his peers to glance down towards the cabins, like he was expecting his brothers to come walking up the path any minute.

When it became evident that they weren't, Chiron stood and stomped his hoof on the marble pavilion. The chatter stopped, and the demigods all faced him. Well, some were still quickly shovelling dinner, like they were afraid it would disappear when he started talking.

"Before you leave," Chiron said, "Has anyone seen Travis and Connor Stoll?"

He saw some of the demigods frown, some shrug, and then squint towards the Hermes table. But no one spoke up.

"I fear they have gone missing."

And thus he began organizing search parties to troll the forest and the various buildings around the property.

Chiron himself led the Demeter children through the south end of the forest, past Zeus's fist. They checked for signs that a pair of troublemakers had passed through, but none were to be found. There was even an attempt to ask the tree nymphs, but they claimed to know nothing.

At lights out, when they had literally searched every possible nook and cranny, they called the search off. Luke and the rest of the Hermes cabin went to bed with heavy hearts. Though they were many, they were a tight knit group. Chiron was fairly sure that the phrase "As thick as thieves" originated from the Hermes cabin.

"Maybe they just left," Luke said, frowning. "I don't know why, because they left all their stuff, but that's the only thing I can think of."

* * *

The next morning, when Chiron arrived at breakfast, he found a smug Dionysus waiting.

"Aren't those the shrubs you… acquired yesterday."

"Yes," Dionysus said. "They're fine shrubs, aren't they?"

Chiron couldn't help but agree, and frowned when the god of insanity offhandedly said, "Shame."

Before he could inquire, Dionysus pushed the plants down the table as the pavilion began to fill.

The mood was dampened, especially in the area around the Hermes cabin. There was a distinct feeling that something was, well, missing.

Chiron, though, was wondering just was Dionysus was doing with those two shrubs. The divine being would send them a smug look every few minutes when he happened to turn his head, like he was mocking them. A smug Dionysus was never a good thing. Chiron learned this during the first few days of Dionysus's banishment.

When Dionysus was finished his eggs and bacon, he stood up and glared at the campers until the message got around. "I have an announcement," he said clearly.

Some of the campers looked to Chiron, though he was just as confused as they were. Dionysus had never addressed the camp before, as he tried to avoid everyone as much as possible.

He reached down the table and grabbed the shrubs. "I believe you were looking for these."

Someone muttered, "well they don't call him the god of insanity for nothing."

Dionysus glared in their general direction. Then he dropped the shrubs. Before they could hit the ground, and the pottery they were in could shatter irreparably, they transformed.

… into Travis and Connor.

Both boys were wide-eyed. The looked up at each other at the same time before inspecting their arms and hands, like they were making sure all of their fingers were still attached.

"Let this be a lesson to you all," Dionysus said clearly over the murmuring of the campers, and the distressed muttering of the Stolls. "If you insult me, my wife, or my mother, I will find you, and you shall suffer a worse punishment than these two."

Then to the formerly-MIA sons of Hermes he said, "If you two ever pull something like that again, I'll turn you into firewood, and we'll burn you as we sing campfire songs."

Chiron wasn't amused. "You knew where they were this entire time."

"Of course, I know where all my campers are."

(Chiron didn't miss how he claimed they were his campers.)

"But you didn't think to mention that before we spent hours searching for them?"

Dionysus raised an eyebrow. "Where's the fun in that? Besides, I wanted them to suffer for a few more hours."

Chiron could only shake his head as the god declared that he was terribly tired (of their company) and required a nap.

As soon as Dionysus was out of sight, the Hermes cabin rushed forward to reunite with their brothers. Chiron let them hug and laugh for a minute before he finally interrupted.

"Well, what do you have to say for yourselves?" Over the millennia Chiron had perfected his _I'm totally not happy with you right now_ look, even though he found the whole situation quite comical.

"I'm never eating salad again," said Connor.

"I have a craving for chlorophyll," said Travis.

* * *

In the end, Chiron decided that their punishment was enough, though maybe a bit traumatizing, and let them be. As he retired to his office after archery lessons, Chiron took a minute to appreciate Dionysus's plan.

Now that the camp had seen what the lazy god was capable of, pranking would remain on the down-low for a while. Especially since Travis and Connor were spreading tales of what it was like to be a plant to anyone and everyone who'd listen.

* * *

_I was thinking about writing a sequel about the things Travis and Connor said to get Mr. D so upset. Maybe if enough people want it? (You know you want it.)_

_PS. Jeff. Dude. Where u at. _

_-Empty Thoughts :)_


End file.
